reflection - Jeremiah 17:17

Spurgeon's reflection on this verse this morning hits hard...

The path of the Christian is not always bright with sunshine; he has his seasons of darkness and of storm.

My whole life has not been easy, my story has ups and downs like anyone's. God has been faithful to me, to bring me through trial - both when I feel and believe I am undergoing it, and before I knew what trial was but nonetheless was in an imperfect situation. For several years it was too easy for me say "blessed be the name of the Lord". Even today, it should be too easy, but I feel the sunshine has been missing for some time, weeks or months. In this season I've been bogged down, mostly with work. That bleeds into family stuff, the stress and chaos of my job makes it easy to be impatient with my kids. In that moment of impatience, God is good to remind me of how patient he is with me, but that doesn't fix my parenting... It opens the door to internal tension because on the one-hand I'm drawn to worship Jesus for his grace unto me, and on the other hand I'm actively in a moment witholding grace from my own kids. It's certainly not fair to them that the storms of my life affect them, and I'm sure the solution isn't to never weather a storm, but to more immediately run to the Lord myself in the midst of it... something I've not been doing - as evidenced by a lack of reflections in the last couple months.

The best of God’s saints must drink the wormwood; the dearest of his children must bear the cross. No Christian has enjoyed perpetual prosperity; no believer can always keep his harp from the willows.

No believer can always keep his harp from the willows... I often find myself daydreaming about 1 decision or 1 stroke of luck, that would allow me to "keep my harp from the willows" but in writing this out I realize this is plain idolotry. The Lord has said I will experience trial in my life, so why would I fantasize about escaping it forever? Why feed my own starving soul a lie when the giver of life and truth has told me otherwise. Not only otherwise, but he's given me a promise that the troubles of this age are ephemeral concerns, and the ultimate glory is him alone.

We need winds and tempests to exercise our faith, to tear off the rotten bough of self-dependence, and to root us more firmly in Christ. The day of evil reveals to us the value of our glorious hope.

It's felt quite windy... But by comparison to others, even others I know closely, what appears like a raging storm in my life is a mildly windy day in theirs. Perspective is a helpful tool but the ultimate perspective comes from the Love of my Lord. When I am unfaithful, when I wallow, when I'm so far in my own head I don't know up from down, he is patient with me... I am longing for a season of life God allowed me to enjoy, and perhaps that season will return. In the winter I feel like I'm in right now, I pray it's not wasted and that day-by-day, with his power enabling me to even just reflect on thoughts like this, I pray my own focus turns to the season-maker and not the season itself.